still haven't found...

If you really want to feel inadequate, worthless, and unqualified, try looking for a job. You'll feel all three of those, plus a host of other negative feelings about yourself, within a few minutes!

There's got to be something out there, right?...

Orlando drivers

One of my friends made a really good point today. She said, "You have to think 5 seconds ahead of all the other drivers here. 'What's this guy doing? Where's that woman turning?' I could be a professional racecar driver with all the swerving I've learned how to do!" I thought that was funny and also accurate. I won't go on a rave about how awful the drivers are here in Orlando. Sure, they run redlights while cops are sitting right there (and the cops do nothing about it), they run you off the road instead of letting you in, etc. The reason I won't rant and rave is that I have noticed that I am becoming more and more like them. I run my fair share of red lights, but in my defense, if I didn't run them, the person behind me would slam into my rear.

I like to use the fact that I still have a Virginia license plate on my car to justify my bad driving. It makes it look like I'm a tourist with no idea where I'm going. I think people are more sympathetic to that.

brrrrrrr!

It was 50 degrees when I drove into work this morning. The other day had a wind chill of 22. I'm pretty sure that the Native Floridians had to get out the dictionary to look up the words "wind chill"! When I was in Minneapolis, I expected the cold. It was refreshing, I felt alive! Here, on the other hand, it is completely out of context.

Florida apartment buildings are not insulated well, so I freeze at night. Even my cats are cold! They snuggle up next to me at night; they have never done that before.

Speaking of my cats, I have decided that I'm going to train them to like to cuddle. I'll scoop up Simba and cradle him in my arms, showing him who's boss but also giving him lots of loving affirmation. "What a good kitty you are!" He just kind of looks at me like, "Are you almost finished? I have another appointment to get to." Ginger, on the other hand, is another story. First I have to chase her around. It reminds me of a greased pig chase because she is so fat. When I finally catch her, I cuddle her in my arms and she looks at me with her wide green eyes as if to say, "please, please, please put me down! I hate this!" She may hate it now, but she's going to love it sooner or later...

venting session

I'm fed up with Christmas! Or I should say the commercialization of Christmas. I know that we live in a society that tries to take God out of everything, but what happened today really ticked me off. It isn't even that big of a thing, I simply went to Walmart this morning to look for a box of Christmas cards. I dug through 2 bins and looked on various shelves for cards that said something about Christ's birth, since that is the original reason for celebrating the holiday. Not only could I not find cards that said anything about Jesus, I couldn't even find cards that said, "Merry Christmas"! I found plenty with Season's Greetings and Happy Holidays. Even the Thomas Kincade cards didn't say it! They at least had verses from the Bible in them, but they had nothing to do with Jesus. One was about prayer...yes, prayer is important but can we at least acknowledge Jesus in the semi-Christian cards?

As I left Walmart without a purchase, I was so frustrated I wanted to cry. I hate the passive indifference of our society! I wish I could express in words the hollowness I feel inside as I think of the state of this world.

i stand corrected!

Wow! I didn't realize I had so many readers! The response to my last blog helped me to see that I do indeed have a fan base.

My co-worker told me I should be a comedic writer...That would definitely be an interesting job. But am I truly comedic, or is it that the people who know me truly well are the only ones who think I'm funny?

"i'm all alone...with nobody here beside me..."

I think I have only one reader. Logic tells me that I should just ditch the blog and email my one faithful reader when I have blog ideas. But it's a status thing. I feel so cool having a blog, like I really know what to do with all this technology. Savvy, intelligent.

I'm pathetic!

PS--10 points for whoever can guess what movie the quote I used for my title comes from...in case you're keeping points...

what do i want to be when i grow up?

The job search continues. It appears that after 5 years of college, 2 1/2 years living overseas, and 6 years of job experiene, the only thing I'm qualified to do is customer service, more specifically, answering phones in a call center. My question is this: why did I waste all that money on a college education when the only jobs that will hire me are for call centers?

Did I mention how much I hate answering phones? The irony is maddening.

bird phobia

As I was walking into work this morning, I saw a couple of sand hill cranes hanging out near the front doors. I was a little taken aback. If you don't know what sand hill cranes are, they are tall gray birds that look very menacing although from what I hear, they rarely attack anything except their reflection in car windows. I was a little nervous, but okay until I saw 3 more cranes standing nearby. I don't like birds anyways, of any size, so this made me exceptionally nervous. 3 of them started to walk away as I approached, but one took this stance and was frozen. I don't know if he was scared and hoping I wouldn't see him, or if he was getting ready for the attack. I kept telling myself, "don't be afraid, they can sense fear". I don't really know if that's true, but that's what they say about dogs. So I tried to walk to the door as confidently as I could. My hands were completely full so I had to press the button to open the door automatically and in my mind I saw sand hill cranes running into the building to cause mass chaos. Of course, that didn't happen. It would have made an interesting blog though!

I went to the grocery store on Saturday and as I was walking out to my car, all I could hear were the calls of thousands of birds in a field next to the parking lot. It was creepy and I felt like I was in the horror flick "The Birds".

One day I was leaving my apartment to go running (okay, walking; who am I kidding?) and there was this small white crane sitting on the roof of my car. I shooed it away but every time I would turn my back on it, it would head back to my car. I kept chasing this thing away from my car for like 15 minutes. Frustrating! I finally gave up and went walking. When I got back, that dumb bird was still around but it was sitting on someone else's car. At least it wasn't mine...

on being cold

I went to Minneapolis/St. Paul last weekend. The first night it was 20 degrees. Part of me was like "dang! this is cold!" but a bigger part of me loved it. I love the cold because it makes me feel so alive. I felt like I was in a Robert Frost poem as I walked around, seeing my breath for the first time in years. Plus, with zero humidity, my hair looked great! And that's what is really important.

People from the upper midwest talk funny. They say their a's and o's weird. I once got asked if I was from Minnesota. I guess that makes the way I talk weird too.

It's a good thing they don't erase your blog if you don't write in it regularly. I'd have to start a new one every time I finally got on the internet!

Anatomy

I don't understand how the human body works. With little or no effort I am able to gain pounds but when I workout 6 times per week, eat healthy (veggies galore and no sweets), and make sure I drink plenty of water, I can't lose a pound?! At least I have more energy. And I get to walk around at work since I have to go to the bathroom every five minutes from all the water!

Regalos de Silvia

I just saw an interesting movie. It's called "Regalos de Silvia" (Silvia's Gift for my non-Spanish speaking friends) and is about a girl who is clinically depressed and decides that her purpose in life is to kill herself so that others can benefit from her organs. The movie follows 3 people after they receive her organs. It is sad and tragic, yet extremely compelling. She gives her live so others can live and yet the 3 who receive those gifts almost end up wasting the gifts by not using them wisely. I am in no way condoning suicide. This movie is an interesting look at the hopelessness of life without God, that a beautiful, talented young woman thinks her purpose in life is to kill herself. I recommend this movie if for nothing else, to give you something to think about. Warning: it's subtitled, so unless you are fluent in Spain Spanish (very different from Latin American Spanish), wear your reading glasses. I would love to hear anyone's thoughts on this after they watch it.

Long lost blogger

I know, I know, everyone can sigh a breath of relief...I am finally writing another blog. It's been a while and I feel like I'm in the stone ages again. It's hard to remember a time without the internet and email. It's crazy! Now that I don't have easy access to it, I definitely crave it. I think I'm going through withdrawal. It all started when I had to go from fast easy internet service at work to dial up at home. As if that weren't bad enough, I had to cancel at home and the place I'm working now has computers from the 1980's. No joke! Complete with the green screens. If you tried to connect them to the web in any way, they would internally combust! So, I have to settle for my short bouts here and there at the library and friends' places. This is how bad it's gotten...the other day I had to wait in line for access. I sat, impatiently, waiting for the next computer to free up. I understandibly got perterbed at the 8 year old playing games on the McDonald's website. Come on! I have emails to read! Let's move it! But you know it's bad and you really need help when you scowl at the middle schooler on a wetlands website doing research for school. Screw the wetlands! I need to check my email! Okay, it wasn't that bad, but I was very happy when the middle schooler left. I hope she gets a good grade on that paper. But what the heck!? Why doesn't she have internet at home like every other child in the USA?!

My life is so boring...

Wow, you lose internet access and then your blog goes downhill. The sad thing is that I haven't written in so long and yet I don't have one interesting thing to say. Hmmm, I could tell you about my first hurricane, but I figured by now everyone has heard about it and doesn't really want to hear more. I am safe and sound, so no worries.

The job hunt continues and I came to realization that I may not have enough to cover the rent, which is really scary. I have never been in this situation before. I am praying that my money will stretch as far as it can and that God will provide a job this week, even if just a temp job. I will take just about anything at this point, just as long as I make some money so that I can live. Being jobless creates such added stress in my life; I'm already a pretty tightly wound up person although my friends would probably be surprised to hear me say that. I can come off being totally laid back and cool about things, but inside I am tied up in knots and unable to sleep at nights. I know that I will find something, even if it means 7/11 or McDonald's. Besides, it might not be about the actual job, but the people I'm around and the opportunities that God puts out there for me to reach out to others.

St. Augustine

We went to St. Augustine this weekend. It was a fun trip. The day was hot but beautiful and the town is so quaint. I love the Spanish tiles and architecture. There are so many cheesy shops, though. I love the history, but the shops kind of ruin the feel of it. Plus, you have to pay to do just about everything. The day was great though and what made it so great was the people I was with:)

One of the most interesting parts of the trip was where we ate dinner. We went to the World Famous Oasis. I think they gave themselves that name, because the only things it was famous for was its bad service and terrible food. But my friend's got their salads for free after I complained for them. I hate bad customer service. The thing about places like that is that their main business is tourists, so they're not counting on much repeat business. They don't really care if their service is bad. So sad. It was memorable to say the least!

Flea infestation

I hate fleas.  My apartment is infested with them.  One flea bomb has already been attempted, but there wasn't a lot of success.  So another one will be tried today.  I hate knowing that we have fleas.  It makes me feel like I'm a dirty, messy person!  And I'm not!  Well, I'm not dirty anyways.  The thought of little creepy bouncing bugs grosses me out.  I'm so paranoid that when I sit on the couch, they are going to attack me, and then I start to itch. 

Cockroaches I can handle because you don't see them very often.  But fleas!?  Yuck!

Any ideas for how to get rid of them?

Job search

Job interviews are interesting things.  You go in, not really sure if you want the job because you don't even know what the job is (at least that has been my experience the last several times) and you have to make yourself look great so that they will at least consider you for the position.  I had an impromtu interview yesterday.  The position sounds kind of cool, yet it doesn't pay well at all and doesn't offer benefits.  It's probably pride, but I just can't take a job that doesn't pay well after investing so much time and money in an college education.  I know, I should be more humble.  I just need a job at this point and I should not be so picky!  Another job that I interviewed for sounds really interesting and I think the interview went well.  I think I made myself look pretty good and like the company couldn't live without me (okay, slight exageration).  But, I still haven't heard back from them.  It hasn't been a full week yet, but I was hoping to hear something, even if just another rejection.  At least I would know.  Yesh, I will be glad when this process is over!  But then again, does it ever really end?

Computer literacy

I feel like a bonafied computer geek today!  I figured out how to add some links to my blog all by myself!  Check out the different links, they're fun and will help give you a better idea of who I am. 
 

I can't stop yawning!

Wow, it's already Monday morning and I'm at work, trying my hardest to stay awake.  It's a challenge.  I find myself wondering, "why in the world am I so tired?!"  I didn't do anything super strenuous this weekend; maybe that's the problem.  I'm getting too much relaxation on the days I don't work and it's causing my body to forget how to stay awake.  Hmmm, this is something I will have to investigate further.
 
One fun thing I did this weekend was hang out with some super cool women on Saturday night.  We went to a slightly overpriced (but delicious) restaurant and just talked and talked.  I love it when you can instantly connect with people you haven't seen in a long time and it's like you just saw them a few days ago.  I crave those kinds of connections.  I haven't experienced that in so long.  I have friends here who I enjoy spending time with and who are very dear to me, but there is just something about those old friends; I think it has to do with the time you have invested in deepening those friendships.  I look forward to seeing my new friendships become like that. 

Friday night

It has been a crazy day!  I'm only working on Mondays and Fridays right now as I look for a full-time job but it seems like a whole week's worth of work is packed into those two days.  The morning wasn't too bad, but then I had to race off to a job interview.  I think it went well, but they said they are interviewing a number of candidates so I'm not getting my hopes up.  Too much disappointment already with interviews...Anyways, I raced back after the interview because I was helping show some new employees the importance of the department I work in.  It was good, but very tiring; two hours on my feet talking about Customer Service.  Then, I finally get back to my desk and it's ring! email! ring! email! constantly until almost 6pm.  I know, I shouldn't complain; at least I don't have a chance to get bored, right?  I need a better attitude.
 
So, it's Friday evening and do I have plans for the weekend?  Of course not!  My social life is in need of a serious makeover!!!  Help!

I'm a Blogger...or something

Okay, I'm not sure how this whole Blog thing works, but I will try it and see how it goes.  Karin tempted me to want to try it out, and it is kind of fun to think that people will read my thoughts.  I don't know how interesting they will be, but if it keeps someone entertained, I'm glad to be able to provide that.