just keep swiming, just keep swiming

I love to swim.

I transferred my gym membership to the one closer to my new place and this one has a pool. I was very excited about this because swimming is probably my favorite form of exercise. I love the way the water feels as I glide through it, the way my hands slice through it as I do the freestyle and the way I feel kind of like a frog when I do the breast stroke. I love how the only things I hear when my head is under water are the bubbles that leave my mouth as I exhale and the gurgle my arms and legs make as I move through the water. I even like the way my skin still smells of chlorine long after I have taken a shower.

When I was younger, around 4 or 5 and living in NC, I took swimming lessons at the Y. I ended up getting pneumonia from swallowing too much water, some of it getting into my lungs. I took lessons again when I was a little older, I think 8 or 9 living in CO. I remember walking the few blocks back to my house, alone, feeling like such a grown up. One time it started to pour down rain and I started to run although it didn't really matter if I got wet. When I was in high school in VA, I would hear about other school's swim teams and long to be on one; yet, my town, let alone my school, did not have a pool. It wasn't until long after I graduated that a Y was built and a swim team formed.

I'm not the most accomplished swimmer. I will never win any awards or medals for speed or endurance. I could use some pointers for improving my strokes. I'd like to learn the butterfly. But I am at peace when I swim, my only thoughts focusing on breathing and form. I wish I could find that peace in life.

thank u

How about me not blaming you for everything
How about me enjoying the moment for once
How about how good it feels to finally forgive you
How about grieving it all one at a time

Thank you india
Thank you terror
Thank you disillusionment
Thank you frailty
Thank you consequence
Thank you thank you silence

The moment I let go of it was
The moment I got more than I could handle
The moment I jumped off of it was
The moment I touched down

How about no longer being masochistic
How about remembering your divinity
How about unabashedly bawling your eyes out
How about not equating death with stopping

Thank you india
Thank you providence
Thank you disillusionment
Thank you nothingness
Thank you clarity
Thank you thank you silence

movin' on up!

In case some of you think I have gone into exile again, I am still here. I have been busy moving. Moving from one apartment to another is quite the task; I can't imagine moving from a house!

I love my new place! It's in a younger, hipper part of Dallas (Addison) and there are young business professionals everywhere. I'm excited to go exploring and find fun places to shop and eat. The apartment itself suits me very well. My last place was okay but it wasn't anything special. The new one is so much nicer and I feel like such a grown-up! I'll see about posting some pics when I get all settled (and you know that will take me a while...) but you can click here to see the complex.

People have been so kind, offering to help in packing and unpacking. It's such a motivator to me to have someone here, even if they are just sitting there and talking to me as I do the work. I am alone a lot of the time (the nature of being an introverted single) so I appreciate the company.

rain rain on my face

Signs on the roadways here in North Texas:

"If water on the road

turn around,

don't drown!"

I think it has rained everyday since April. I feel like I'm living back in Florida. Maybe it's a sign...