I am not a priority.

MIA

Sorry I haven't been around this week. It's been a hard and stressful one, and I'd like to fill you in on what has happened, but I just don't have the strength or the will to even try. I am completely exhausted...

song

A while ago, Kel posted a song that's lyrics were meaningful to her. At the time, I couldn't think of any that really moved me. Well, I just had one of the hardest weeks since I've been here in Dallas and as I have sat here listening to U2, the lyrics to "I Still Haven't Found..." struck me. Here they are:

I have climbed highest mountain

I have run through the fields

Only to be with you

Only to be with you

I have run

I have crawled

I have scaled these city walls

These city walls

Only to be with you

But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for

But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for

I have kissed honey lips

Felt the healing in her fingertips

It burned like fire

This burning desire

I have spoke with the tongue of angels

I have held the hand of a devil

It was warm in the night

I was cold as a stone

But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for

But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for

I believe in the kingdom come

Then all the colors will bleed into one

Bleed into one

Well yes I’m still running

You broke the bonds and you

Loosed the chains

Carried the cross

Of my shame

Of my shame

You know I believed it

But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for

But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for

But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for

But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for...

why me?

*warning: do not read this if you are currently, or have just finished, eating!*

Today I took the day off so that I could go to a 2 day mini-conference at the seminary I want to attend. It's an opportunity for prospective students to check out the school and see if it is where God is leading them. I was so excited to go and have the chance to have my vision renewed for what I want to do with my life.

The day was going great. I got to attend a counseling class and even ran into someone I joined staff with back in 2001 (small world!). Chapel was amazing and I felt reassured that this is where God wants me in the future. It was lunch time so I headed to the room where all those interested in Biblical Counseling would be eating. There were several professors from the department and a time of question/answers. The food was served, chicken with cream sauce and delicious steamed vegetables.

I don't know if you know this about me, but sometimes I have problems eating. The food gets caught in my esophagus and I end up throwing up. Don't worry, I talked to the doctor years ago about this and he said that since it doesn't happen that often (the last time was several months ago), I shouldn't worry about it. I can always tell when it's about to happen because I get this terrible burning sensation in my chest and I can feel the saliva just collecting in my esophagus. As one of the professors was talking about the program, I got up to go to the bathroom. Most of the time when I get this sensation, I just have to wait it out and it eventually goes away when the food finally goes down into my stomach. This time it did not.

I was in the bathroom for about 20 minutes, going between gagging and throwing up a little. Finally I decided I just needed to go home because the feeling would not go away. I went back to the room, grabbed my stuff, and walked out to my car, completely frustrated that I had to leave early when there was still so much left to do. As I got to my car, an unexpected gag came on me and I dry heaved by my car. "I have got to get home!" I thought and quickly got in the car. As I closed the door, another gag came on except this time, it was not a dry heave. I threw up on the floor of my car. I left the seminary and as I'm getting ready to get onto the interstate, I grabbed the trash bag I keep and threw up again, while I was driving! I'm glad it wasn't rush hour! I set the bag aside and then threw up again, but this time all over me! I don't want you to think that each time I was barfing it was a huge amount; it wasn't, and it was mainly clear, thank goodness! But after I threw up all over myself, I was super annoyed! My thinking had been if I felt better as I drove home, I would turn around and go back. But this could not be the case now.

I finally started feeling better as I pulled into the parking lot of my apartmenbt complex. Figures...

tight

And I don't mean it in the way my students do when they say, "that song is tight!"

I use this to describe my neck and shoulders right now. I am so stressed out that my body feels like it can't bend anymore! Plus, I have a monstrous headache and feel nauseated. Stress can do so many crazy things to your body.

You may be wondering why I'm stressed. There are many reasons, but I'll give you the top 5:
1. My portfolio for my certification program is due next week. I've barely started on it.
2. I hate my job.
3. I am broke.
4. I feel like I have no purpose in life but to be abused by punk teenagers.
5. I can't lose any weight because I am too exhausted all the time to actually be able to exercise.

There are countless more, but those are probably the biggest ones. I think I may have my own happy hour. Oh, wait, I can't afford it because I'm broke. I'll just go take some generic ibuprophen since that's all I can afford...

laundry day

Today is the day. I put it off as long as I can. It's been 3 weeks since I last washed clothes and I need to get it done. I hate having to gather everything together, carry it all out to my car, load it up, go to the laundrymat, lug everything out of my car and into the washers inside, transfer to dryers 30 minutes later, wait for my clothes to dry (but they never really do), fold everything, load back up into my car, then head home. It's such an ordeal!

I went to a website for a company that the leasing office suggested to rent a washer and dryer. 30 bucks a month; I'm not sure I'm ready for that commitment. It would be nice to have them in my apartment though. I can't afford to buy them right now, so why not rent? The best thing is that I could wash my sheets every week. I have to block out of my mind the little dust mites that I know are living in them because I can only wash them every 3 weeks. Gross! Now I'm getting all itcy...

la comida

I just made a yummy lunch. I'm so proud of myself! I actually got the idea from Real Simple's tv show on PBS. I didn't have all the ingredients so I improvised. Even so, it turned out pretty well.

I cooked up some linguine noodles and the last few minutes I threw in some frozen chopped spinach. In another pan I sauteed half a sweet yellow onion, sliced, in olive oil and added some salt and pepper. When it was almost finished, I added some balsamic vinegar. In another pan I grilled a chicken breast in olive oil. When the pasta and onions were finshed, I drained the pasta and added the onions, tossing lightly. I put some of the pasta mixture on a plate, topped it with the chicken breast, and sprinkled Italian mix shredded cheese. Perfecto!

I want to experiment more with food but I'm not very daring, plus my cabinet is bare of almost every spice and herb. When I get to the grocery store and see the spice aisle, it makes me hypervenilate. I can't make up my mind at McDonald's; don't put me among 5000 bottles and expect me to get out of there anytime soon!

dedicated to Karebear....

nanner, nanner, nanner!

Hawaii, here I come!!!

American Cities That Best Fit You:

80% Honolulu

75% Atlanta

70% Austin

65% Denver

60% Seattle

Which American Cities Best Fit You?

kitty fight

I am officially a crazy cat lady! I love this pic, so cute! It's probably what Simba and Ginger were like as kittens...

ice, ice baby!

Whew, it was cold this weekend! It was in the 80's on Wednesday and Thursday, then dropped to the 20's and 30's this weekend. I don't have a winter coat here (didn't think I'd really need one as the normal temps for this time of year are 70's) so I froze each time I went out. Not only has it been cold, a rain/ice mix has been drizzling all weekend.

I went out to my car this morning to go to church. I almost slipped and fell on the sidewalk, then when I got to my car there was a layer of ice covering it. I turned on the engine and blasted the defrost, got out my handy Foxridge scrapper (remember, the Mecca of years past?), and got to work. As I was working, I kept hearing sirens, fire engines and ambulances. I felt that the sirens mixed with freezing my butt off trying to scrap off the ice was a good enough sign that I should not go out in this mess. I turned off the engine, almost slipped again as I walked back to my apartment, and turned up the heat a little (to a balmy 64 degrees) and read all morning.

lessons learned

I found out the hard way that Ginger is allergic to milk. I knew that cats are lactose intolerant but I figured it affected them the same way it can affect humans; stomach ache, gasiness, etc. I ate cereal for dinner (I know, lazy) and when I finished, I had some milk left over. Ginger was sitting on the couch beside me so I figured I'd let her have some. She drank a little and then I took the bowl away. Within 2 minutes, Ginger starts gagging and all of the milk and food she had eaten a while ago came up, right onto the couch! Good thing I had a sheet on the couch (to protect it from all the cat fur). She proceeded to throw up again, this time even worse, on the carpet. I felt so bad that I had given it to her in the first place; I'll stick to straight cat food from now on! I think Ginger has a very sensitive stomach to begin with. I should have known better...

By the way, the water came back on late Friday evening. The next morning it was acting weird, coming out of the faucet in spurts so I was worried it was going to cut off again. But it didn't.

splish splash

That is not the sound I am hearing this evening. The water in my complex has been turned off since before I got home from work at 3:30. I'm ticked. There were a couple of guys working on it and they left about an hour ago and haven't returned. And with the threat of freezing rain tomorrow, I'm not sure if they will come back to finish the job any time soon. I know I should extend grace and not be upset, but this is ridiculous. Why in the world didn't they get it fixed earlier? It looked like a couple of the maintainance men who work for the complex; they need to get some professionals in here if they couldn't get the job done. What makes it even worse is that the Brita is out of water (didn't refill this morning) so I have little to no water until who knows when. I don't even know how I'm going to brush my teeth!

I've had a horrible week. Way to end it...

another list

Four Jobs I've Had
1. customer service associate (bleck!)
2. teacher (jury still out)
3. missionary
4. day care (best summer of college was working with Kel at good ol'...what the heck was it's name?!)

Four Movies I Can Watch Over and Over
1. While You Were Sleeping
2. It's a Wonderful Life
3. Ever After
4. Ferris Bueller's Day Off

Four Places I Have Lived
1. Venezuela
2. Spain
3. Blacksburg, VA (love them Hokies!!!)
4. Hardy, VA (aka, the middle of nowhere!)

Four Shows I Like to Watch
1. Lost
2. ER
3. 7th Heaven (I know, major cheese!)
4. Extreme Home Makeover Home Edition (I want to marry Ty!)

Four Foods I Like (only 4?!)
1. Girl Scout cookies (it's that season again!)
2. ice cream
3. Panera's blueberry/strawberry summer salad (I can't wait for it to come back)
4. berries of any kind

Four Websites I Visit Daily
1. Blogger
2. Hotmail
3. MSN
4. um, that's it...

Four Things I Want to Do Before I Die(in no particular order)
1. Live in Italy and/or Greece
2. Get out of debt
3. Visit every Spanish speaking country in the world, and then some
4. Get married (I know, pathetic)

super Ginger!

I was just playing with Simba. I admit I was playing rough and getting him very stirred up. He kept trying to attack my hands but it was okay because they were under a blanket; his bites never penetrated through to my skin. All of the sudden, Simba decided this wasn't good enough and jumping up, tried to bite the top of my head. Before I even knew what was going on, Ginger jumped onto Simba and bit him, protecting me from his attack. When he fell, she let go and started hissing at him, letting him know his behavior would not be tolerated.

Don't worry, I'm fine; he didn't really bite me. I'm in shock right now by Ginger's heroic feat! She's normally so docile and a scaredy cat. She was my knight in shining armor!

perezosa

I don't feel like doing anything today! My apartment is a disaster and I've been sick all week, so you'd think I'd want to get moving and do something. But no, I am super unmotivated. It's a beautiful day, although a bit chilly, so I should get outside or at least go to the gym. What is wrong with me?!

lame

The commercial said, "And the return of Dr. Carter". What was I supposed to think except that there would be at least on significant scene with him. I watched the entire hour of the program and they stuck him in a scene at the end, background music playing, he's flying in a helicoptor over a field of white tents. He didn't even have a line! I'm so mad!

back in the saddle

I took another sick day today because I was feeling horrible last night. I thought I was even going to have to make a trip to the doctor. I woke up this morning and felt very tired, but not as sick, so that was good. I have spent a good portion of the day sleeping; I think that has been a huge help in my feeling better.

The worst part of being sick this time is that I blew my nose so much that it's dry and crusty around the nostrils. It constantly looks like I have something hanging out of my nose when in fact it's just dry flaky skin. Anyone have ideas for getting rid of it?

Growing Pains...

is now on DVD!!! At least the first season is. I know what I'm adding to my wishlist. Who else was totally in love with Mike Seaver?

wheezy

Nothing like going for a walk when you have a cold to make you feel out of shape! I decided to walk to the drug store that is just a block away so I could buy some medicine. I figured it was close enough that I wouldn't feel winded and far enough to at least get me out of my apartment complex. I thought the movement would help get my lungs working a bit and maybe clear them out. I was wrong. Walking there I got so hot and short of breath I thought I needed to stop and take a break. On the way back, I was walking so slow and felt like I needed my inhaler. I know I'm out of shape, but this is ridiculous!